The Not-So-Secret Recipe for Staff Hiring & Longevity

In leadership, we use words like alignment, consensus, vision, and “buy in” to measure something very important: unity. We’re trying to understand if people are with us. Is my team on board with where we’re headed? Is the staff really with me, or are they avoiding telling me how they feel?

To find out, you have to ask. This takes time and energy, and I've discovered that the answer I get isn't always reliable. What we don’t hear or see are the conversations that happen at home around the kitchen table. That’s where people are really honest. 

If you’re casting vision to your staff, then the audience isn’t big enough. Cast vision to their spouse and family. I’m looking for health on our team and health at home. I realize this is more difficult. You don't have to do it this way, but when those two worlds are in alignment that’s when you feel unity, alignment, and consensus.
 
At Milestone we’ve built this into a process:

1. With key hires I encourage you to meet the spouse. 

Obvious, right? It’s important that you understand the spouse’s worldview. Because the nature of ministry is emotionally draining, it's a lot to expect your team members to go home each night and keep their spouse engaged with the vision on top of all the other family demands. You’re not hiring both, but they both need to understand what they're potentially saying yes to.

2. Try and create regular opportunities for spouses to hear the vision from you.

As their pastor, I have a responsibility to provide opportunities for the staff spouses to hear the vision from me and understand how they can be a part of it. We do this through quarterly staff meetings, called Family Staff Days, that we invite the spouse to attend. We also organize an annual Staff Gathering in September when we gather together for two days. These create opportunities for us to have fun together, as well as moments for building unity.

3. Teach your team how to process offense in a healthy way. 

Most people don’t know how to process pain. The natural response to offense is to isolate, undermine, push it down, and avoid confrontation. Those are all indicators you should be dialed in to. Create space in your staff meetings to coach your people. Encourage transparency, honesty, and healing. A good rule of thumb is to help people process “up” with their manager (as opposed to their peers or someone they are leading). It takes a lot of maturity for everyone involved, but in the end it leads to a healthier, more unified team.